DISCLAIMER: if you have made some kinda impact on me, good or bad, im probably going to talk about you
So my new friend tricked me into going to a "cool party with sophisticated people" that she thought I might enjoy. She got me by saying there would be food and hot guys. Of course, I dressed to impress and we went to the party on the upper west side. Right before we walk in, I asked her "Whose party is this?" to which she answers, "Oh, I don't know anyone there. It's a party with a bunch of people I met online through a website." Immediately I thought of the craiglist killer, but she assured me it was cool and that she had been to one of their parties. We walk in and the lady at the front checks our bags to see what goodies we brought, and then charges us an additional $10 because we were supposed to each bring food and wine. I forked over the money and proceeded through the hallway where I soon found out the theme of the party: Middle Eastern. Everyone had brought pita bread and hummus, and my $17.99 bottle of Pinot Noir was the classiest drink there. I'm not gonna lie, I said I dressed to impress, and I was looking good. The 10 middle eastern/Indian middle-aged men at the food table started eyeing me up to be their bride. I knew I was in trouble. Some Arabic guy with a receding hairline approached me with, "Hi," and an awkward smile. I said Hi and shoved pita into my mouth and headed for the nearest exit. It wasn't long til he found me and the empty seat next to me. These guys are seriously looking for their wives, and I will have no part of this search. There really wasn't anyone interesting to talk to, so I thought I would entertain myself with this guy. One of my biggest peeves is when people don't know West Virginia is a state!! I had to tell him 5 times it was, and when he asked me if I was sure, thats when all reservations were gone. I convinced him I was a 34 year old divorcee' that moved to the city to pursue my newly single Sex in the City life. He said I looked like I was in my early 20s and asked for my ID, but I told him my license was taken away because of some trouble I got into down south. Surprisingly, he believed me and still wanted to be my husband. This party was going downhill fast, and I am so glad my friend had the balls to demand our $10 back.
We bounced up outta there with the back up plan to go to Pink Elephant, some club my friend knew a promoter could get us in to. We get to the club, and the promoter walks us to the front of the VIP line, tells us the head security guy doesn't like him, and runs away. So of course when we dropped his name the security dude told us to wait. He lets in a bunch of 16 year olds in prom dresses and braces, and then comes back to us. He gave us a looksy and said, "Sorry, probably can't let you in tonight." I was like, "NO HE DIDN'T!!" Here we are standing at the front of the VIP line and literally 17 year olds and 45 year olds in their cheap looking outfits and bra straps all hanging out are going in before us! Shorty, this is how I will refer to myself, don't play that. This will be the first and last time someone tells me they "Can't do it" as in let me in to a club based on my appearance. ESPECIALLY when everyone going in isn't even going to spend any money. I don't even like clubs and this is exactly why. My friend wanted to wait around to see if we would get in, and I said, Uh Uh, I will not stand here and look like I want to be a part of this crowd."
On my subway home I made friends with a nomad. I like to call myself a nomad but this guy was legit. He made my night better and put me in a better mood because he was kinda cute and funny. I felt better about my night until I got home and went to the bathroom to wash my face and was greeted by a creepy crawly with 500 legs!! 
This night was a total bust.
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